Stephen King knows nothing about guns.

No, really, the man is a master of his craft, but his magnum opus, the Dark Tower, is the least gun-literate piece of fiction I’ve ever read. Still my favorite.

Ruger never made a .44 Automatic, the gun that Jake takes from his father before leaving for Mid-World.

Roland’s guns are ostensibly able to shoot a .45 Colt, as is this made up .44 Automatic.

But that’s not the worst of it. Not by far.

Childe Roland to the Dark Tower Came (and blew up his hand)

The shells in my father’s guns - the ones I might someday carry - blew seventy-six [grains of powder], but I didn’t say so. He’d likely not have believed it.”

The Wind Through the Keyhole

No shit. Do you know how much powder that is? If Roland was using smokeless powder, that’s not a cartridge, that’s a goddamn pipe bomb in your hand waiting to go off. Assuming it’s Black Powder, it’s still unholy. The most powerful production .45 revolver in the world, the .460 Smith & Wesson XVR, shoots the .460 S&W Magnum. This BEHEMOTH of a revolver round, capable of 65k PSI and 3200 J of energy with smokeless powder, ONLY holds 60 grains of FFFg Goex powder. Even then, it requires extensive compression.

No production round on earth can match these insane rounds Roland claims to fire.

The .45 Gunslinger

I propose a wildcat cartridge to meet Sai King’s specifications.

We know Roland’s guns definitely fire a .45 cartridge. He found .45 Colt that worked in Jake’s world. Let’s start there.

The .460 S&W Magnum is compatible with the .45 Colt (in that a gun chambered in .460 S&W Magnum can also fire .454 Casull, .45 Colt, and .45 Schofield. Similarly, a gun chambered in .357 Magnum can usually shoot .38 Special, but not vice versa. “Compatible” cartridges will always allow you to fire the shorter round out of the higher power firearm, never the reverse. This is why Magnum rounds are longer; it’s a safety issue.)

The .460 S&W Magnum has a bullet diameter of .452, a case diameter of .478, a rim of .520, and the case is 1.80” in length. To fit the monster amount of black powder we need inside while maintaining compatibility with the .45 Colt, we only need to do 1 thing. Make it longer.

I believe, if I’ve done my math correctly, a case length of 2.30” would allow for the use of 76 gr of black powder, while maintaining overall dimensional compatibility.

Yes, an entire half inch longer than the already ridiculous .460 S&W Magnum.

Thus, I present the .45 Gunslinger, a black powder cartridge based off an extended .460 S&W Magnum case, drawn out to 2.30” in length.

Is this safe?

Dear God no.

Can anything shoot this?

No, this is a wildcat, without a paired gun to shoot it. I know nothing about firearms design. I wouldn’t know where to begin. You wouldn’t be able to fit it in anything existing either, and I can’t say it’d be a good idea to try.

Why?

Because I can, plain and simple. I’d also love to send a box of 6 to Sai King, as thanks for writing my favorite books of all time. Someone needs to make his insane dream a reality, why not me?

You needn’t die happy when your time comes, but you must die satisfied, for you have lived your life from the beginning to the end and ka is always served.